What You Are Saying
This is what we heard from parents of 5th graders
(now 6th graders) in 2025.
Let’s not cave! A phone-based life makes it difficult for children, teens and adults to be fully present when they’re with others and to sit silently with themselves when they’re alone. Teens and pre teens are particularly vulnerable because their bodies, their brains, and their social lives are changing so rapidly. And the research is very clear and it is simple – increased screen time takes away from in-personal connections, sleep, and attention. [Our] family is all in!!!
This issue in particular is absolutely a collective action problem. Unless our parent/school community agrees to a common code, it is extremely difficult to be the parents denying your kid access when their friends all have it. We have signed the Wait til 8 pledge for both of our kids and only hope that most (all) of SFDay would do the same.
My older son … does NOT have a cell phone and he is happy. When his friends have gotten cell phones they have their faces in the phone during social time, they congregate around mobile games or social media feeds and it totally changes the social dynamic. He has gotten closer with the kids that don’t have phones because they still talk and shoot hoops, etc. The more we can do to keep groups of kids without cell phones, the better.
I’m grateful and proud of CSB for taking a lead on banning / collecting smartphones at school, and hopeful that with more open dialogue about all the research on the many downsides of smartphones for kids, parents will align on delaying giving them to their children.
We are 100% steadfast that our son won’t have a smartphone or social media while he is at Town. He has an Apple watch for after school so that we can contact him when he walks off campus, and that has worked well. We are completely opposed to a phone before high school.
We would love nothing more than play/real social based interactions rather than digital.
Social media is not healthy and should not be a part of any school community. I have never been told a story of anything great that was the result of using social media. Once kids turn 18, they can decide for themselves but a unified ban of social media would be welcomed.
As we have an older daughter and have seen firsthand the progression of phone/social media use, I highly recommend delaying phone and especially social as long as possible.
Having an older kid, the pressures of wanting a phone only get more intense in middle school. I think having a collective stance could really help parents navigate this more easily. We got our older son a phone in 7th and wish we would have waited longer as it is super addictive.
Our plan is no social media until high school, and ideally not until they can make their own choices in college… We would greatly appreciate being able to do this with other parents as I think when we all set similar guidelines, it’s more likely to work.
If none of the kids are on social media, there won’t be a feeling of missing out on anything. As soon as a few kids join, others will feel like they need to join too. This seems to happen very quickly so it’s important for parents to make a plan ahead of time.
I would love for it to be the gold standard to NOT have a smartphone. I’m fine with a flip phone.
I believe now is the perfect—if not slightly overdue—time for us as parents to take a collective stance, or at the very least, to share awareness of what’s actually happening among the kids.
The peer pressure the boys feel is transferred to the parents. If parents are united, the boys will be supported when saying no to social media.
I’m interested in collectively thinking about how we replace the screen time with more intentional connections and activities. How do we encourage the kids to be more of an active part of the solution?
Covid accelerated use of technology to younger ages out of necessity and it has had adverse impacts since. Glad that parents in our community are recognizing this and doing something about it.
I appreciate your leadership on this topic. I believe strongly that it is easiest to hold the line in a family when the majority of a school community has a similar approach.
We are currently holding out and would love to continue through 8th grade, but need at least a quorum of other families to do the same, so that our daughter can still have a social life outside of social media and phones!
I hope that we can hit critical mass so those families who wish to delay can assure their kids that they are not the “only ones” without a smartphone, insta, or snap account.
The collective stance around social media is the highest priority for me. I understand that some families need their kids to have a phone for various reasons and that the Apple Watch is not adequate for all needs. But if only a few get it, the FOMO of not having one (which is very real) will not be as heavy.
It would be a very different school if we agreed to delay phones and social media at the school until graduation.
This only works with collective action, so thank you SO much for taking the lead. We plan to delay smartphones until start of 9th grade.
Our hope is to delay as long as possible. It’s incredibly helpful if we do it as a group.
Power in numbers to preserve childhood.
My daughter will not get a smartphone until 8th grade or later. I don’t believe in social media apps unless for sport recruiting. My daughter has an Apple Watch to contact family.
My 5th grader will definitely not have a smartphone or social media while at Hamlin. I hope we can all come together on this.
We have two older children. Social media on smartphones wrecked much of their adolescence. Our youngest can buy a smartphone when she’s 18.
In my mind the gateway to social media is when it becomes the default form of communication (in addition to its other features), so I am in strong support of maintaining text as the form of communication.
We strongly believe in and support the wait until 8th pledge. We have had success with a limited Gizmo watch to help solve for being in touch with parents as needed for logistics without introducing screens/phones/social media.
Delay, delay, delay 🙂
I would love to have as many people “bought into” community norms like: no phones in carpools, no phones on playdates.
With being a parent of three older kids I’ve experienced the risks, challenges and detriment that come along with introducing them to a phone. I’m on board until 12th grade concludes!
Just so grateful you all are spearheading this and hope we can get to critical mass!
We would love to take a collective approach on this. We won’t do social media or a phone while at Town, hopefully longer on social media.
The longer we can keep our kids off smartphones (especially social media), the better!
I worry about peer pressure and hope that our parent community can stay strong for the benefit of our kids. I’d also love to see more IRL connections.
Although I think social media is the worst part, the fear of missing out from texts and group chats is equally negative for focus and sense of self.